Sleep Talking Rambles
by LaPaige
Summary: Kurt Hummel has a tendency to sleepwalk. Blaine doesn't know this, until he experiences it for himself. Or: In which Kurt is the Black Swan, Blaine is a hobbit and there is a double rainbow. No spoilers.


_Chris Colfer: I sleep walk and I do all kinds of fun things when I'm unconscious. I wake up and scream sometimes._

_Amber Riley: In people's faces._

_Chris Colfer: In people's faces._

* * *

The first time it happens, it's 3:32am and Blaine can't sleep. He's sat in the common room with his iPod, curled up on the sofa and listening to Yiruma in a state that is much too conscience for his liking. The music isn't loud - it's quiet enough that if someone shuffles into the room Blaine would be able to hear. And he does hear someone a few seconds into the third song, which is why he pauses the music and looks up to see Kurt looking a little weary but upright, scanning the room. Blaine uncurls himself and walks over instantly; making sure his iPod is safe on his now vacant seat. Kurt is running a hand through his hair which is actually pretty alarming. Blaine knows for a fact that Kurt's hair is his most prized possession (if he doesn't take into account the impressive Lady GaGa collection Blaine knows exists).

"Kurt?" He asks, reaching out to touch but dropping his hand at the last moment. "Is something wrong?"

Kurt's eyes look strange, but Blaine feels a little creepy noticing it so he doesn't look any closer.

"Double rainbow all the way!" Kurt sounds awed and Blaine steps back when Kurt puts his arms up to make a rainbow shape with his hands. This was pretty freaky. "What does it mean?" Kurt continued in the same amazed voice, staring at the ceiling with his mouth open in wordless wonder.

Blaine's first thought is: what the fuck is going on? His second is: Wes has something to do with this (which is actually something he normally thinks first). He glances at the ceiling just in case, but doesn't see anything of interest. It's still a boring shade of cream and Kurt commented distastefully on when he first transferred. No rainbows in sight. And then Kurt says "IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!" and his voice cracks on the second word and he starts crying.

"Kurt?" Blaine doesn't even notice how concerned he sounds but then Kurt whispers "the unicorns look so pretty tonight, don't they, Gretel?" and Blaine realises Kurt is sleep walking. (Which is a relief, because crying Kurt is something Blaine never wants to see again after Blackbird.)

After his concern fades, Blaine finds it pretty funny. Kurt's bed hair is adorable and the words he's saying are disjointed and make little sense. It's strange seeing Kurt like this and, although it's creepy, Blaine kind of likes seeing him anything less than perfect for a change. But then he realises that he has no idea how to deal with this at all. He remembers a few weeks ago when Kurt was talking to him about sleepwalking and Blaine had laughed, saying he'd never experienced sleepwalking first hand, and wasn't even sure if he could deal with it without causing major harm and/or killing the sleepwalker. Kurt had paled and said "um, Blaine, I kind of sleepwalk."

"I WOULDN'T KILL YOU!" Blaine had cried quickly, very undapper like and without thinking. Kurt had laughed and the crisis had been averted, mostly. Other than Blaine wondering what it was about Kurt that made him say stupid things without thinking.

"You probably won't experience it, but if you do, I'm sorry in advance. But don't wake me up; it kind of freaks me out. Just take me back to my dorm and tell me to sleep or something. That's what Mercedes said she did." Kurt shrugged, and the conversation had switched to something else before Blaine could embarrass himself further.

So now, faced with Kurt clearly sleepwalking, was a strange experience. He's scared that saying anything, _doing_ anything, would frighten Kurt - or worse. And he does not want that. "Kurt, you're sleepwalking." Blaine says softly, being careful not to do anything that could wake Kurt up.

Kurt doesn't seem to have heard Blaine, which is clear from his response – which is to do a strange twirling dance in a circle complete with impressive arm movements that make it clear that Kurt was once a cheerleader (Blaine may have watched all the YouTube performances he could find – more than three times).

He watches, caught between laughing and feeling bad for letting this continue. Without having to think, he knows Kurt would be mortified. The dance stops quickly, and Kurt mumbles something to himself that sounds like 'I am the black swan!', but Blaine is too preoccupied in making sure Kurt doesn't walk into the wall to pay close attention.

"I want a sandwich." Kurt declares suddenly, taking a step forward and almost face planting the floor.

"Uh," Blaine says, gently wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist to keep him upright. Kurt rests his head on his shoulder and sighs happily, which makes Blaine blush a little. He wonders how Kurt is so functional despite sleeping as he leads his friend crush Kurt to the sofa and gently tries to sit him down. Kurt pouts and pulls Blaine down too so they're awkwardly half lying half sitting. Kurt's arms are still around Blaine's waist and it feels like Blaine is trying to take advantage of Kurt or something similar. For a brief, terrifying moment Burt Hummel's murderous look flashes through his brain. It's enough to startle him and try to untangle himself from Kurt. It turns out that even when sleeping Kurt is stronger than he looks.

Kurt must be the heaviest sleeper ever because falling onto a sofa, an impromptu dance routine and almost crashing into multiple walls (and the floor) had done little to wake him.

"You're so comfy," Kurt whispers in Blaine's neck and _oh, okay_ that's pretty distracting. Blaine can _feel_ Kurt's lips moving on his neck and he shifts slightly in an effort to stop it because being turned on by a sleepwalking Kurt is really, really creepy. "M'so comfy, I never want to move _ever_. Do you like unicorns?" Kurt is whispering so quietly that Blaine's startled when Kurt starts laughing. At least he's lifted his head from Blaine's neck, anyway.

"Kurt, I'm going to take you back to bed, okay?" Blaine says softly once Kurt's giggles have subsided. He tries to lift Kurt up as gently as possible, and at first Kurt protests but then he lets himself be lifted, his arms draping comically over Blaine's neck. It's a good think Kurt probably won't remember this is the morning, because Blaine's blushing bright red by now and it's not very attractive at all.

"I'm like a little baby chimp," Kurt giggles, and for a brief moment Blaine wonders if Kurt is like this when drunk. He untangles the arms from around his neck and wraps his own arms around Kurt's waist instead; letting Kurt leant against him like he's in the later stages of drunkenness.

Blaine's happy that, even though Kurt still has a few tiny doubts about Dalton, he knows it well enough to navigate the halls alone while asleep. It's a good thing Blaine knows exactly where Kurt's dorm is, and can probably find it with his eyes closed. They exit the common room and Blaine makes sure to pick up his iPod on the way, knowing that he's probably tired enough to fall asleep now that he'll have to practically carry Kurt across half the school. (The funny thing is, he's not complaining much.)

"In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great school rests on the shoulders of a young hobbit …" Kurt's voice is deep and mysterious, and Blaine tries very, very hard not to get really, really turned on. Then his brain processes the words just as Kurt finishes his sentence with: "his name …. Blaine."

"I'm not even that short!" Blaine grumbles, tightening his grip on Kurt when he shouts 'LOOK! FAIRIES!' and tries to run away. With a small sigh, Blaine reluctantly accepts that if anyone is going to call him 'Hobbit', it might as well be Kurt.

"You're my favourite hobbit." Kurt says sincerely as they arrived at Kurt's dorm. Blaine smiles and says thanks as he opens the door with one hand, the other still around Kurt's waist. It's like Kurt is drunk and Blaine feels guilty yet again about leaving Kurt to deal with the aftermath of Rachel's party. When they enter the room fully, Blaine gently removes his hand from Kurt's waist and leads him to the bed.

"Go back to sleep, Kurt, okay?" He says softly. He's surprised to see that Kurt obeys, crawling into the bed and curling up under the covers.

"Goodnight, Rick Astley," Kurt murmurs softly as he drifts back into sleep without the wandering around and random sentences. Blaine smiles softly and kisses Kurt's forehead, feeling a little like a parent as he makes sure the duvet completely covers him. Then he remembers the scenarios he's had of confessing his crush to Kurt and inappropriate daydreams he's had about non-studying actions in the common room and feels a little awkward, so instead he makes sure his hands don't ruffle Kurt's hair any further and steps back.

"Goodnight, Kurt." Blaine whispers as he walks out of the room, a smile playing on his lips.

* * *

**So I watched Original Song. Can I just say: fejkhjkhtgerhthwtweinwkj! ****That is all. **

**Thanks for reading! (:**


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